Eight Weeks of Managing Outbreak Anxiety in Beijing (in Photos)

There were only eight working days sandwiched between the winter 2019 break and the Spring Festival 2020 holiday. The two celebrations were unusually close that I struggled to choose when to go back home, but I still chose Christmas anyway. When I returned to Beijing in early January, I thought to fly back to Manila for another break but chose to remain because everything was so expensive.

Then the outbreak erupted in Wuhan.

During the Chinese New Year rush and excitement.

What happened to the holidays? 

My WeChat groups swelled with confusion, fear, and paranoia during the first few days of the outbreak and the ensuing lockdowns in Hubei. I was caught up in the unrelenting wave of daily updates on the number of infections, especially in Beijing.

Who wouldn’t? You don’t want to get infected!

I had to tackle a lot of issues back then. In order of importance:
– My housemate is a doctor. Will she catch the virus? How should I manage?
– Will the groceries run out of supply?
– When are we going back to work?
– Will I be able to fly out of China when things get worse?

And seriously, I had so many questions! But who would answer? Everyone in Beijing had those questions too.

The situation was just so crazy that I even blamed myself for not coming home for the Spring Festival break. I would have gotten a longer vacation and time to do some paperwork back home. But I tried to shift my mindset, however difficult it was, and told myself, ‘There must be a reason why you are in Beijing during the outbreak.’

It turns out that yes, staying in Beijing is a much better option. In some ways, self-isolation is manageable as long as you can remain steadfast and focus on the things that you can control during these turbulent times. Of course, that may not ring true to others who live in different circumstances.

In this article, I try to show a visual timeline and a summary of my observations since the outbreak became full-blown during the Chinese New Year, or Week 1 (January 19-25). My thoughts are still with everyone affected by this crisis, especially those who lost their loved ones.

 

 

I was still feeling easy in Week 2 (January 26-February 1); in fact, I started a 30-day fitness routine since there was nothing much to do after the holiday. Neighborhoods then had not imposed strict monitoring yet, while restaurants and other establishments were still functioning well. But after five consecutive days of staying home (from January 26 to 29), from watching outbreak-themed films to hearing the death of Kobe Bryant, and I already experienced cabin fever.

In Week 3 (February 2-8), I continued binge-watching films and realized it did not help my situation because the only people I encounter were the ones on the screen. I started remote work, so at least I still had connections with people from outside my room. I restarted my Chinese classes and even tried to memorize Korean characters.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week 4 (February 9-15) was brutal as it drove my anxiety into high levels, especially after day-long reflections on the situation and recollections of previous regrets. I was able to get out to restock my supplies, but that was only it. The negative emotions were overwhelming that I struggled to function and lost the inspiration to write for my website. However, I maintained short notes to record those emotions. The other redeeming factor was preparing my food for the upcoming days. Thinking about what healthy food to eat was enough to put my attention to a more bearable future.

I gradually recovered in Week 5 (February 16-22), as my fitness routine that involves reading, drinking lemon water, and eating healthy kept me sane. I also set my sights on watching feel-good series (yes, Crash Landing on You) and reading some of the books and magazines I had stocked up during my travels.

I noticed my optimism, focus, and knack of creative writing restarted in Week 6 (February 23-29) — at a time when the pandemic had been subsiding in China and exploding in other countries. It helped that I had been writing about the service initiatives of the students and parents in our school — and by covering their actions I felt I was contributing to the recovery efforts in the outbreak-hit areas. It felt good that for once I became a keyboard warrior who told others to remain optimistic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The theme of my recent article was my reflections on my self-isolation leading up to Week 7 (March 1-7). I talked about the confusion, paranoia, and hysteria happening in the Philippines. It took me at least a month to recover from those negative emotions, but now they slowly creep in because my worries shift to the safety of my family and close friends back home.

Week 8 (March 8-14) went fine as I continued observing the situation in the Philippines, especially when our government flip-flopped on major decisions before finally imposing a “community quarantine.” My father had just recovered from surgery and so I instructed my parents to stay at home and told my siblings to continue preparing for the worst. I wanted them to understand the gravity of the situation based on my limited experiences in Beijing in the past few weeks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now I am in Week 9 (March 15-21) — two full months since the major spread of the coronavirus — and the situation is almost back to normal. There are traffic jams, my favorite food joints have reopened but in a limited capacity, some establishments are back on track. But many schools are still resorting to distance learning programs. But travel regulations keep on changing to prevent the reimportation of the coronavirus. In the Philippines, the situation is getting worse. My city, for example, has already locked down.

The past three months have been so long and taxing and yet we are just finishing one quarter of 2020!

In my next post, I will share my response to the queries of my friends all over the world about how I coped with the outbreak in China.

 

Photos: Andy Penafuerte III