#AtoZChallenge – Pandemic Journal: Binging Was Fine, Until It Wasn’t

And suddenly we are given time — so much that we struggle to make good use of it.

That was my dilemma on Week 2* of the pandemic in Beijing. The Spring Festival holiday celebrations were canceled, and so I was left with my laptop and a good selection of movies I downloaded in Manila. Here’s a quick verse for my Pandemic Journal B-day entry for the Blogging from #AtoZChallenge.

 

—

Look,

Binging was fine.

Kingdom gave me the chills.

Contagion showed how to draw the line.

Along with the Gods was pumped and full of thrill.

Miracle in Cell No. 7 made me cry… a much-needed release.

A Moment to Remember brought old regrets back, disturbing my peace.

Until binging on series became a habit. For four months. I had the time, after all.

Although I was living in different circumstances, movies and TV series allowed me to recall.

When my social media accounts were being bombarded by depressing pandemic news coverage,

Life behind the screens showed the way to go in times of adversity: stay strong and keep your courage.

Binging was fine.

Until it wasn’t.

—

 

Every day in those four weeks passed by so quickly that I struggled to produce content for my website. Or journaling, perhaps. Had I remained focused in those 28 days of partial indolence, I could have made better use of my time rather than staying in a fantasyland.

But it’s fine. You needed a break. You know how difficult it is to live alone.

I could have read more books.

Hey, you’ve been doing that already! 

I could have written a piece of literature.

The articles you wrote for your work? They’re excellent!

I could have done a fuller exercise routine.

You’ve just finished the second cycle of the 30-day push-up challenge.

 

—

 

When Week 8 arrived, I cut down on binging on streaming shows because I felt I was so entranced by the make-believe. It was fine as I needed a diversion to the distressing news (and fake news) coming into my devices. But later, it was not fine anymore. I noticed a drop in productivity. I lost hours of sleep (yes!). I made unreasonable comparisons.

When I realized all of these, I had to act on the emotion — and tone down my binging.

You can imagine the withdrawal syndrome that I experienced.

But it’s much better than staying indolent because it will not help me in the long run.

 

*For reference, I consider the Spring Festival break from January 19 to 25 as Week 1.

Photo: Lisa Fotios from Pexels