I need to catch up with my Pandemic Journal! This past week, I did not write any entries at all because I needed to finish tons of tasks. We returned to the office–with masks, of course–last week, so you can just imagine how difficult it was to transition from a 3-month work-from-home arrangement to a “normal” office setting.
That being said, I consider coming out of last week’s busyness and little confusions as a victory. That’s my V-day entry.
Somehow it’s good that I did not write this entry in advance. I intended it to be “visions” (as a response to my 2020 year opener blog) and changed it to “videos” (because I had a couple during the first few weeks), then replaced it again with “Viber” (because the app became a “lifeline” to my family back home).
Yesterday (Friday, April 23) when I was reviewing the entries that I have yet to fill out, it suddenly came to mind that I should write about the small victories that I got ever since I started the Pandemic Journal. This entry is essentially a continuation of my Joie de Vivre entry — celebrating the joy of life — but I’d like to highlight those victories that have made the past four months worth remembering.
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Living “in the present.” Yes, I consider this a victory, if not the biggest one during the pandemic. It’s so hard to juggle levelheadedness and hope amid the onslaught happening everywhere, and there are times that I even question if I am trapped in a “tragic optimism” bubble. But the more I do that, the more I expend energy on things that won’t propel me forward. I think the joy of living in the present is freeing and reassuring.
Extending hands. I mentioned in my Joie de Vivre entry how I am thankful for having a secure job now because I am able to support my family. Leaving my previous work was hard, but it seems to me now that it was the right decision.
Writings. I’m dedicating an entry for all the writings (except in this journal) I have composed in recent weeks. The Pandemic Journal itself is a victory — previously, I regretted not writing diary entries during the first few weeks of the outbreak, but it’s never too late, right? I also love the idea that my Pandemic Journal has moved on from melancholy and repressed emotions to a celebration of remarkable experiences.
Getting commendations. These are also connected to the item I mentioned above. It is so encouraging to receive these appreciations from my colleagues (our department head and school principal) because these have lifted my soul (and not ego) during those times that I had been questioning my choice to stay in Beijing.
Learning to cook. Well, that’s one sign of becoming more acclimatized and self-sufficient.
Reading more books. I think I’ve read tons of magazine articles online than I did in the same period last year. I’ve bookmarked those that I really liked. Besides these, I also enjoyed a number of self-help books (the trilogy of Ryan Holiday, for example) and fiction. Working in a school has also allowed me to access tons of good reads. Now I’m reading the etymology and cultural history of 100 popular Chinese idioms and expressions!
More me-time. Yes, it’s a victory! By me-time, I mean, more time for self-reflection. When all things came to a screeching halt, I was left with silence. It was crazy at first, because my pre-pandemic life had always been fast-paced (I even say that my body is built for breaking news coverage) and my mind was always full of work-related thoughts and project plans. So, the past three months of working from home had given me a lot of time to reflect on so many things. I suggested in my year-opener blog that 2020 is the Year of Vision. It’s amazing to re-read that piece.
I reckon the path to peace ain’t easy. In moments of disarray and chaos, staying calm is a key trait that will keep us moving.
Now, my 2020 vision–forgive the pun, but everybody is using it, anyway–is a return to form: to focus on what matters and to keep my inner peace.
Photo: Scott Webb from Pexels
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