— 2.30pm
As I type this, I’ve just finished sipping the last drop of coffee in my cup, while the bright 3D moon model shines beside my laptop. I’ve just emerged from a lethargic post-lunch period during a workday, on my 30th birthday. My mind cannot go back into action because it just does not work now. To be fair, when I listed my to-do tasks yesterday, I did not put anything specific today — and that only means I hard-wired myself to work less today.
I have a couple of major articles that I need to write – three student profiles of 3,000 words each and one regular “learning” article that might hover around 1,800 words. They sound so demanding and intimidating, and just by thinking about them I already feel mind-tired. But actually I kind of like writing profiles now – I feel they really flex and stretch my writing muscles.
— 2.51pm
I stopped writing the previous paragraph as I went to a divisional meeting. I was not needed there, actually, because I am not a teacher. But it’s still good to know the division’s plan regarding the return of ninth-graders on Monday. I completely lost my train of thought… I wanted to remember why I was talking about writing.
Anyway, as soon as the meeting wrapped up, I hurried to fix my stuff so I could get back to downtown early and grab my birthday dinner (alone). My sister and I chatted over iMessage whether I should eat in an American diner or a Tex-Mex resto. I chose the latter and had an awesome treat for myself.
By the time I reached this part – it’s already 8.10pm. Just when I thought today had exhausted its happy moments, another one came. I just removed my shirt and lo and behold, the price tag was still on the inside, just below the collar! Hahaha! Seriously, how could I not know that it was still hanging there? I spent the entire day without removing it. I wore the shirt again to see if it was visible in the mirror – I don’t know. But I don’t care!
Anyway, it’s refreshing that only a couple of people greeted me today (You can still greet me, and thank you!) and these are the people who know my birthday by heart. Not because a silly Facebook post notified them nor a calendar alarm showed up. And I feel thankful because they made me smile today — on the first day of my 30s.
— 8.19pm
I want to inflate this birthday blog, but I am so full that I feel lethargic again. But I have to take a bath and fix some stuff before hitting the bed. And since my writing knack is back, I want to finish the other Blogging from #AtoZChallenge entries. I’m actually torn if I should leave them blank – but another part of me urges me to finish the entries because the experiences are still fresh. Maybe I need to tone down the content so I can proceed to write more journals and move on from this bottleneck.
Anyway, before I leave this blog, a thought just came to mind. Why don’t I follow the V-day #AtoZChallenge entry about victories? After all, I mentioned this to a friend with whom I chatted before going home. I think today’s major victory was I remained happy — yesterday, there was an inkling that I would feel sad because I chose to celebrate alone. But on the contrary, I feel glad – even up to this point. I’ve always thought that my disposition during my birthday would dictate that entire year — it did not always happen, but I’ve noticed that I am estranged to or partially lost connections to the people with whom I previously celebrated this day together. I like that I am not in touch with them anymore for so many reasons, but the one thing in mind is that I like keeping silent now and writing my thoughts either here on my website or in my work diary.
Another victory–smaller, this time–was I think my work was fine this week. It helps that I’m self-improving!
And yet another one was when the waiter politely asked me to switch to a smaller table, because the initial one could be better used for a group. I did not even double-think about it and immediately said yes, and requested them to carry my still-untouched food. They were gracious and thankful and in the end, they gave me a shot of tequila. I was on the verge of telling them that it was my birthday, but I kept it to myself because I didn’t want the extra attention and fake niceness. But the tequila shot was a surprise!
— 8.55pm
I like how the victories and anecdotes today feel so fresh, look so lovely, and sound so silly, even if they happened some several hours before this post was published. Sometime earlier this afternoon, I was browsing my phone album to see what should I upload for today. Last year, it was a quote that I saw on the Caminho Fatima trail on the hills of Santarem. I thought another quote from that pilgrimage would make for a lovely continuation of a birthday message that would somehow guide my path this year. Then I saw this photo:
What a lovely quote. I was instantly transported back to the hiking trail, when I carried around 30 kilos of non-essential stuff that slowed me down. But that was still a good reminder of the baggage that we should leave behind whenever we go onto new journeys.
Now, I have to get moving. It’s 9.09pm and I have to take a shower. I will edit one article first, and then ponder over the next piece that I will write.
Photos: Andy Penafuerte III